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bash.org > funny chat

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm….nothing?
<Jeedo> So….want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait….did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes  Mrs.Miller.. :-/

bash.org

<shwatta> never drinking again
<shwatta> went out yesterday for a few lunch time beers in the city right
<shwatta> those ‘few’ turned into lots
<shwatta> woke up at 9am the next day in a park down by the beach which is 30 kilometres away from the city… no phone, no wallet, no memory, blood all over myself with no obvious wounds
<shwatta> the weirdest thing was that in my hands there was this little statue of a hindu god with a massive grin on its face

Crazy Twilight Pictures

Cartoon Twilight Pics

graphjam.com also love Twilight

Funny Twilight Pictures. Blade is watchin you Edward Cullen

Jokes

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell ‘fetch’!

- Why can’t people stay angry at Jasper Hale?
He calms them

- Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself.
She came back with a mirror…

- Alice Cullen and the Hulk were on a cruise and the ship sank, and they got trapped on an island, who would win a fight between them?
There would be no fight becasue Alice would have seen the ship sink in her visions and never got on!

-What happened to the man who kept a secret from Edward Cullen?
Nothing, Edward already knew what the secret was!

-What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse

-How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don’t know, they’re all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

-How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

-Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.

Shout... as loud as You can...

jokes:

Town’s Fire Alarm
Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop…suddenly the Town’s Fire Alarm went off … one jumped up and headed for the door … his friend shouted, “Hey, Tom, I didn’t know you were a fireman!”
Tom replied, “I’m not, but my girlfriend’s husband is…”

blonde
A blonde calls this rural fire department all excited. She says, “Come quick my barns on fire, my barn’s on fire.” The dispatcher says, “Calm down now just tell us how to get there.” She says, “Oh, don’t you have that big red truck anymore?”

Sherri: Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?
Jason: No.
Sherri: It’s when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear “Your sister was better than you…”, and try to hold on for 8 seconds.

source

• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
• Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Husband asks, ‘Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means ‘Without Information Fighting Everytime’!’

Wife replies, ‘No, it means ‘With Idiot For Ever’!!!’